Authors & Bloggers, Psychoterica, Self-Development

Psychoteric Bypassing & UberPositivity

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Challenge, sorrow, change, discomfort, conflict, hatred, depression, and anxiety are paths to growth and change,” says Vanessa Bennett in her brilliant article “The Danger in Fake Positivity and Spiritual Bypassing” on Medium.

I highly recommend reading it. She calls it Spiritual Bypassing, the rejection of letting yourself feel any sort of negative emotions. I am using my own verbage for it. And I don’t like the word fake. I think its just excessive, it is what happens when you create a yinyang duality out of yourself and try to banish the darkness (yin) and have only light (yang). It isn’t sustainable, not even for a little bit. You will be just as out of balance as you are when you let yourself drown in grief, fear, depression, anxiety and all those dark emotions.

Human beings need their light and their darkness. We need to let ourselves have bad moods, bad days, outrages, moments of shock and paralysis and let other people around us have them too.

Just not all the time.

Just not excessively.

UberPositivity, the stuff that too many self-identified lightworkers try to perpetuate in themselves and others? It is unsustainable and it becomes the stuff of jokes, snarks and memes by the more jaded types. UberNegativity is just as bad. And that is the point. Extremism in approach is harmful and unsustainable for us regardless which pole the gravitation is towards.

The fun (and exasperating) part of mental alchemy is learning how to temper challenge with acceptance, sorrow with joy, change with stability, chaos with order, serenity with outrage and on and on. I’m imperfect at it to be sure. But that is okay. That is the message that Vanessa Bennet is making and I’m supporting. Its okay to be not okay, as long as “not okay” isn’t the default mode.

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