So today’s Medium article is “The Psychology of The Magus” by Jennifer Moore which I discovered when I was looking for a picture of Magus #3 for my collection. That is the one I happened to draw for today, synchronicitly. I wasn’t able to read as carefully as I would have liked, my brain was too racing to get my own thoughts out about The Inner Magus and True Will and Weight Loss.
I have given myself the resolution to not eat grain-based food, candy, or soda for 2021. I started by giving them all up on December 26th. Today is Day 2 of 2021. I am not throwing myself at eating X number of calories, trying to balance my Protein-Carbs-Fats or any other food alchemy at this time. The ~only~ things I’ve established for myself are:
1. No grain-based foods, no candy, no soda
2. Potatoes and Legumes are my primary starches
3. I eat as much fresh produce as I can; condiments are okay.
I don’t know how much weight I will or won’t lose. I would LOVE to drop an entire 100 lbs. by my 53rd birthday (tomorrow is my 52nd birthday) but you know what? I have not, in all the years I’ve told myself “I will lose a hundred lbs. this year” come even close. I’ve lost 20, 30, even 40 lbs. over a 12 month period but always gained at least half of it back. Most years, keeping myself between 320-340 lbs. has been my biggest accomplishment.
I’m not doing it that way this time. My weight is currently 330 lbs. I’m at my average. But in 2021, I would ~like to~ lose at least 31 lbs. and I would ~like to~ feel what it’s like to be 299 lobs again. I ~plan to~ to get off my ass at least 3 times a day and take three short walks to get in at least 5,000 steps even on bad days.
But what I AM going to do, not simply hope for and plan for? I’m going to abstain and from grain-based foods (which include all cereals and baked goods and pasta), all candy, all soda.
Because this is my Will. This is my Directed Intention that I’m being and going to continue to be magickal about: I am stating to myself and the universe that I will not eat these foods with the self-understanding that what I really mean is that I will willfully and by intention not eat these foods and if I fuck up? Then I will willfully and by intention smack myself in the head, laugh, and go right back to NOT eating these foods. I will walk a set path with grit teeth, determination, and accept my human fallibility but not define myself by it.
At the end of the day (or in this case, at the end of the year)? The point should not be “Laurel weighs less than 300 lbs for the first time in 30 years!”. That is just the pay-off I hope for. The point will be “Laurel honed her True Will and mind magick to stop eating grain-based food, candy, and soda… and as a result of that and moderate daily exercise? She lost weight.”
The point will be that I established a sandbox for shaping and strengthening my True Will in 2021. It’s that I’m making a resolution that regardless of circumstances, regardless of what events happen and how I feel-think afterward? I am not going to eat grain-based food, candy, or drink soda. Not when I’m happy and celebrating, not when I’m sad/bad/mad. I can drink juice, coffee, tea, water, milk, seltzer…anything else. I can nom on potatoes with ketchup, I can stick a spoonful of peanut butter in my mouth. I can let someone buy me a bunless hamburger with fries and ice tea when we go pick up fast food.
Because I have stated my intention and created a resolution and now I do the magick of creating the reality I want. I made this resolution and initiated this working with full knowledge that my Inner Demons will gleefully look at ways to sabotage my Inner Magus because that’s their job as my psyche-as-Adversary? (There’s some psychoteric writing for the future). The point is to Be The Magus who, like Solomon, masters the demons rather than being mastered by the demons. 2021 is going to be a Solomonic story, not a Faustian story, I have decided. I get to triumph. All it takes is me, via praxis, keeping to my resolution via True Will which I believe I can do.
My BELIEF that I. Can. Do. This. Thing and my embracing of “This is gonna be so hard some days but totally worth it and I will say this and believe this and make this my reality” is the Mind Magick. Using affirmations, rituals, tarot card readings, every tool I draw on to program my brain into consistent follow-through day by day (hour by hour on the rough days)? That’s the Craft. Because if I can say and mean and follow through on something as challenging as “no grains, no candy, no soda” for the next 364 days?
Everything else I want to accomplish is possible and probable too. But this is the sandbox and canvas for the microcosm of my Great Work for 2021. It is something I do have control over, and only I have control over, which is what makes it so useful as a sandbox. You, my readers, will get to watch as you please. While I’m doing this mental alchemical Magnum Opus (a year of abstinence from grain foods, candy and soda) for me? I am also sure that using my blog as one of the ways I hold myself accountable for thinking through and typing through this working will really, really help it happen.
Typing about my inner demons when they manifest and start cavorting about to try and sabotage my work will really help me snap my fingers and say “no” with confidence and prove that my Inner Magus is stronger.
There is most ~definitely~ some very deep delving into The Magus vs. The Devil coming in not too distant writing. Remember that I believe the entire Major Arcana is there in our psyche all the time. We are never just one card, one archetype when it comes to the zodiacal or tarot archetypes. We simply draw on certain archetypal forces and play them out in what we say-do-feel differently at different times. Educating ourselves about the archetypes and then developing the True Will and magickal prowess to intentionally manifest a specific archetype in a specific way as part of our communication-actions-feeling is the endgame. Perfection in it is an illusion. Doing it most of the time and accomplishing most of what we hope for, getting better with practice? That’s being a good magician.